Mail Bag

Over the past months (ever since I blogged this Lesson in Parenting), I have been getting emails and letters.  I haven't had much time to respond so I decided to open a few and get some answers back to my faithful followers that have parenting questions.  So let's get to the first letter. (all names have been removed to protect the innocent)

Dear Our Life,
Long time reader, first time writer.  We have a two year old daughter and a 10 month old son.  She loves her brother and wants to hold/pick him up.  We were wondering when it was okay for her to hold him on her own.  She is determined to hold him, is pretty strong and is always helping her daddy carry stuff.


Thanks,
Pocket Hercules Mother


Dear Pocket Hercules Mother,
Thanks for writing and sorry to the delay in responding but it's been busy around "Our Life".  Your question brings up a problem that I am sure all our parents wonder about.  Kids love babies and love holding them.  My general guideline is two years old is too young to hold your 10 month old on their own - supervised on the sofa would be allowed.  To help you get an idea what might happen if you don't follow "Our Life" guidelines...Let's says your daughter wants to hold your son while sitting on the surround around the tub.  You agree to let her hold him because you are sitting right beside her.  What you now have is a basic ticking time bomb.  The longer she holds him the greater the potential for her to drop him.

Now that your on the slippery slope of your two year old holding your ten month old there are only three results -
1.You catch the ten month old before they hit the floor
2.She drops him and saves herself
3.She drops him but takes the fall with him using him to break her fall and giving him a goose egg on his forehead. 

Let's review the results.  Number 1, not much chance of this actually happening you think you are close enough but your not a ninja and you are going to get distracted, turn your head, or begin talking to your wife and not hear your daughter telling you her legs are "tired".  Between number 2 and 3, it's a fifty-fifty shot.   Number 2 says that she isn't a team player and not committed to the task of holding him - I am not going to fall and get hurt.  Number 3 shows that she not a quitter and she is committed to holding him at all costs, even if they fall because she can say "I didn't drop him" (nope, you sure  didn't but you did use him to break your fall).


My recommendation is four years old.  If you let them hold your infant before then, you've been warned what might happen.


Sincerely,
Our Life