A couple of weeks ago for Mother's Day, my friend, Pastor Jenn, over at Courtyard started a series on "Momma Says". She had two weeks on the topic and you can listen to them here - May 9 and May 16. If you have an ipod you can subscribe to the podcast for Ashley Ridge Church. You can read about them on her blog here May 10 and May 17 - "After The Message".
When she first told me she was going to do a "Momma Says" series this epic movie clip came immediately to mind - "Momma said that..."
It got me thinking about things our Momma's told LA and I while we were going up and I decided to compile a list that I will continue to add to as we remember them.
KC
"I Love You"
"Say Thank You"
"Say I'm Sorry"
"Say Yes, Ma'am, No Ma'am, Yes Sir, No Sir"
"When speaking to adults, call them Mr. or Mrs."
"Eat your vegetables" followed by "Your not getting anything else for dinner" followed by "Clean your plate"
"Nothing good happens after 11:00pm" (You know what she was right.)
"Remember who you are"
"Go get a switch" (implied was don't bring back a piece of that limp green fennel or a twig)
"Wait till your Daddy gets home"
"This hurts me more than it hurts you" (then why are you doing it...ha!ha!)
"Remember to wear clean underwear when you go out or travel" (in case you were in an accident...I guess so the EMS worker, doctor or nurse wouldn't have to see your dirty underwear)
Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Rule Breaker
For the past 36 days I have been living life on the edge and driving with an expired drivers license. Don't tread on me.
I had the option to renew via the mail which is what I should have done but 5 years ago, I knew the guy taking the picture and I was laughing when he took the picture and he printed the license without showing me the picture. It wasn't a bad picture but it wasn't a "normal" drivers license picture and it sure did make everyone laugh when they saw it. After awhile I decided, it was my attempt to bring joy into random people's lives and if they were having a bad day they could always tell someone about the drivers license they saw at work today. So it really had a happiness multiplication factor which ended today....Sorry.
I also needed to update my stats on my drivers license. In 5 years, I have added on 10 pounds and shrunk an 1". At this pace in 10 years, I will be 210 pounds and 5'10", 20 years - 230 pounds and 5'8", 30 years - 250 pounds and 5'6". This gives me something to be excited about for retirement - not making it too retirement. I am thinking there has to be a reason for the weight gain. Let's think what has happened in the past five years and see if any of them could be responsible for my weight gain - got engaged and married, two children, metabolism changing (I am not 27 anymore or even remotely close), Oreo's in the house (my kryptonite, everybody's got to have something and to be honest any cookie that you can dunk in milk is in danger when it enters my house. It is like death row from them.)...I am blaming my weight gain on two pregnancies. It is rough when you have them so close together. LA was able to loose her weight but mine is still sitting in my midsection - dunlap disease - my belly dun lapped over my belt. I think the females call it their muffin top. I am going to stick with my gut got bigger.
So I wasn't a true rebel...I was but I wasn't. I knew the consequences for my actions. This wasn't my first time driving with an expired license. A number of years back, I had gone even longer (months) and was pretty sure that I was going to have to retake the driving test since it had been so long but thank goodness it hadn't been long enough for that to apply. The DMV will give you like a year to renew but the officer that pulls you over isn't going to be so friendly before your name becomes part of his ticket book. I took a chance and didn't get pulled over. So I cheated the system for 36 days.
The funny thing is that for the past month, I have been within .25 miles from the Ladson DMV. Most days of the week in the morning since LA went back to work, I meet Arlette at the intersection of College Park road and Hwy 78 to drop off Wyatt. It never crossed my mine that the DMV was just up College Park road and to stop by and renew my license until this morning. It was 8:00 and thought that I could beat the rush and get it done quickly. The quickly part was shot as soon as I turned into the parking lot and realized they were not open yet. Didn't quite understand the logic of not opening at 8:00am but it's a state agency and you can expect anything logical out of most of them. I decided to wait and people watch and saw that there was some free entertainment. I didn't know they provided it but you can just hang out in the parking lot and watch people practice parallel parking or actually parallel parking to get their license. I watched for over 20 minutes as a lady (if it would have been a dude, I would have said "dude", this has nothing to do with gender - parallel parking is an gender neutral problem) attempted to parallel park a mini-van. If you don't remember the parallel parking part of your driving test, I am pretty sure you could have parked two cars in the space they give you. It isn't like you are trying to squeeze a Suburban into a spot downtown Charleston. The only thing she could do correct was pulling forward past to where the rear of the car is at the front of the spot. After that, I can't even describe everything that was happening - she almost hit the front post, she cut the wheels too hard and the rear of the mini van was parallel to the curb, she got in the spot but was crooked, she was too far from the curb...etc. (and many of these results were repeated multiple times) There were a couple of times I mumbled under my breath "What in world is she doing", "You're going to hit the post", "Your crooked". I give her an "A" for effort and and "F" for execution. It was almost to the point of me getting out line and going over there to help her but I probably would have made her cry. She was persistent. After each failed attempt, she would pull out of the spot, circle and start over. I don't know if she passed her test but I hope the instructor was watching and new before hand what he/she was getting into before going with her on the driving test. I am pretty sure the number of failures would increase significantly if I was in charge of administering the driving test. I wonder how many close calls they have every day. At least the parallel parking is in a controlled environment.
The DMV catches used to catch a lot of grief but awhile back became the new and improved DMV and my experience this morning was quick. The positions were all filled. In the past they would have 10 places for service and 3 workers. My only complaint this am was the 8:30am opening time and they didn't open at 8:30am. They opened at 8:32am by my watch but I am sure my watch is wrong.
If you are bored, I am sure the adventure of parallel parking takes places all day long and into the evening. Call me and we will grab a bag of chips and cooler of beer (or your favorite beverage) and go to the DMV for some laughs or the boat landing which would is a whole different topic for me to blog about - watching people back a trailer down a boat ramp.
I had the option to renew via the mail which is what I should have done but 5 years ago, I knew the guy taking the picture and I was laughing when he took the picture and he printed the license without showing me the picture. It wasn't a bad picture but it wasn't a "normal" drivers license picture and it sure did make everyone laugh when they saw it. After awhile I decided, it was my attempt to bring joy into random people's lives and if they were having a bad day they could always tell someone about the drivers license they saw at work today. So it really had a happiness multiplication factor which ended today....Sorry.
I also needed to update my stats on my drivers license. In 5 years, I have added on 10 pounds and shrunk an 1". At this pace in 10 years, I will be 210 pounds and 5'10", 20 years - 230 pounds and 5'8", 30 years - 250 pounds and 5'6". This gives me something to be excited about for retirement - not making it too retirement. I am thinking there has to be a reason for the weight gain. Let's think what has happened in the past five years and see if any of them could be responsible for my weight gain - got engaged and married, two children, metabolism changing (I am not 27 anymore or even remotely close), Oreo's in the house (my kryptonite, everybody's got to have something and to be honest any cookie that you can dunk in milk is in danger when it enters my house. It is like death row from them.)...I am blaming my weight gain on two pregnancies. It is rough when you have them so close together. LA was able to loose her weight but mine is still sitting in my midsection - dunlap disease - my belly dun lapped over my belt. I think the females call it their muffin top. I am going to stick with my gut got bigger.
So I wasn't a true rebel...I was but I wasn't. I knew the consequences for my actions. This wasn't my first time driving with an expired license. A number of years back, I had gone even longer (months) and was pretty sure that I was going to have to retake the driving test since it had been so long but thank goodness it hadn't been long enough for that to apply. The DMV will give you like a year to renew but the officer that pulls you over isn't going to be so friendly before your name becomes part of his ticket book. I took a chance and didn't get pulled over. So I cheated the system for 36 days.
The funny thing is that for the past month, I have been within .25 miles from the Ladson DMV. Most days of the week in the morning since LA went back to work, I meet Arlette at the intersection of College Park road and Hwy 78 to drop off Wyatt. It never crossed my mine that the DMV was just up College Park road and to stop by and renew my license until this morning. It was 8:00 and thought that I could beat the rush and get it done quickly. The quickly part was shot as soon as I turned into the parking lot and realized they were not open yet. Didn't quite understand the logic of not opening at 8:00am but it's a state agency and you can expect anything logical out of most of them. I decided to wait and people watch and saw that there was some free entertainment. I didn't know they provided it but you can just hang out in the parking lot and watch people practice parallel parking or actually parallel parking to get their license. I watched for over 20 minutes as a lady (if it would have been a dude, I would have said "dude", this has nothing to do with gender - parallel parking is an gender neutral problem) attempted to parallel park a mini-van. If you don't remember the parallel parking part of your driving test, I am pretty sure you could have parked two cars in the space they give you. It isn't like you are trying to squeeze a Suburban into a spot downtown Charleston. The only thing she could do correct was pulling forward past to where the rear of the car is at the front of the spot. After that, I can't even describe everything that was happening - she almost hit the front post, she cut the wheels too hard and the rear of the mini van was parallel to the curb, she got in the spot but was crooked, she was too far from the curb...etc. (and many of these results were repeated multiple times) There were a couple of times I mumbled under my breath "What in world is she doing", "You're going to hit the post", "Your crooked". I give her an "A" for effort and and "F" for execution. It was almost to the point of me getting out line and going over there to help her but I probably would have made her cry. She was persistent. After each failed attempt, she would pull out of the spot, circle and start over. I don't know if she passed her test but I hope the instructor was watching and new before hand what he/she was getting into before going with her on the driving test. I am pretty sure the number of failures would increase significantly if I was in charge of administering the driving test. I wonder how many close calls they have every day. At least the parallel parking is in a controlled environment.
The DMV catches used to catch a lot of grief but awhile back became the new and improved DMV and my experience this morning was quick. The positions were all filled. In the past they would have 10 places for service and 3 workers. My only complaint this am was the 8:30am opening time and they didn't open at 8:30am. They opened at 8:32am by my watch but I am sure my watch is wrong.
If you are bored, I am sure the adventure of parallel parking takes places all day long and into the evening. Call me and we will grab a bag of chips and cooler of beer (or your favorite beverage) and go to the DMV for some laughs or the boat landing which would is a whole different topic for me to blog about - watching people back a trailer down a boat ramp.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
What's Been Happening? No Poopy...I don't like...knife
It's been awhile since my last post. I guess I should have pulled out my standby list of things to blog about but I didn't so I still have them for another day...I can tell the excitement is building.
Just to update you on everyone -
LA
LA has 5 more day of school until summer officially starts. She will be done on June 1st. LA's kids did very well on the physical science end of course exam which is real good since she was out for 8 weeks. She does have a job next year at ARHS. Because of the budget if she would have been at another school no telling what would have happened.
Wyatt
He is still growing. He has started smiling when you play with him and talk to him or maybe it is just because he is passing gas which he has been doing a lot of lately. He has been very gassy. Last week he was unable to poop. We had the same thing happen with Aubrey. I still called the doctor and they told me the same thing we were going to do anyway but we wanted to be sure he wasn't too young (We couldn't remember when we started giving it to Aubrey. Which is not surprising since I can't remember anything these days...case it point on Sunday, I called Allen Greer by the wrong name and then stared at him like I knew it was wrong but couldn't come up with the right name. He corrected me (awkward)...Sorry, Allen, my brain had a misfire - I am also pretty sure he will never read this but maybe one day he will Google his name and this blog will pop up and he will remember that Sunday and know that I felt bad about calling him the wrong name. I would promise that it wouldn't happen again but it's probably going to get worse.) Mommy and Daddy had to resort to the Dark Karo syrup which worked like a champ. It worked so good that when he finally pooped it was with Arlette. We missed the blow out. We don't know what's causing the constipation but he is not happy about it.
He is also working on his third cold since March 5th...very frustrating and helpless feeling. He is congested and there isn't much we can do about it...pretty sure Aubrey is the carrier this time since she has a runny nose. Only a week before Aubrey is out of daycare for the summer and maybe Wyatt can get better.
Aubrey
I don't even know where to start. Words, words, words, words and more words...We are learning a new language and evidently need a translations class. Anybody got an Iphone that can translate Aubrey talk. They have apps for everything why not something useful. Right now half the time we can figure out what she is saying and the other half of the time when she says something LA and I look at each other with a puzzled look and ask her what she said which she then immediately repeats what she said and you still have no clue what she was talking about but a few that we have figured out:
stawberries - strawberries
gourt - yogurt
???bag - bookbag
boberries - blueberries
mlk - milk (vowels are optional)
yatt - wyatt (sometime consonants are optional)
However, the funniest thing is her tasting something and if she doesn't like it she will tell you "I don't like." Where did she learn this? We haven't ever said this around her? You have to be careful with it because sometimes she will say it with foods she really does like but 95% of the time when she say that you might as well take it away, unless you want to lose the battle.
We are trying to catch her on video jumping, hopping and dancing. They all are pretty much the same and equally funny but as soon as the camera comes out she stops doing it. LA and I laugh and laugh when she does any of them and shake our head.
KC
So 2010 looks like the year of me trying to mangle this temple of a body God has given me. In January, I had the accident with the mandolin slicer. You know the slicer you can make thin slices for making homemade potato chips and slicing veggies. I wasn't paying attention and talking to someone else and my finger got to close to the blade and I lopped the end of my finger off. It was quick and pretty much painless but you would have thought I had cut the main artery to my heart with all the blood. I survived and my finger healed. Just a couple of safety notes - make sure you use all the safety equipment that comes with it, evidently it's important and when your wife questions you about the safety equipment make sure you heed her warning (unlike what I did), the blade is super sharp - stitches were not an option. It was a clean cut and cut the end of my finger completely off. To be completely honest, it actually wasn't my fault. It was my friend Tim's fault. He showed up late to the gathering and was making a ruckus in the kitchen where everyone was gathered and because of that I had to turn my eyes away from slicing the potato (I am pretty sure he will never read this either, so I am officially publicly blaming him.) and presto one finger tip cut off.
Wednesday night, I was again in the kitchen in the same spot I cut the end of my finger off. I was cutting cheese for Aubrey to take for lunch the next day. After I finished cutting the cheese (2nd time I said that...ha, ha! I know your laughing.), I sat the knife on the counter and a few minutes later the knife was falling off the counter and somehow fell exactly right to make about a 1.25" cut in my lower leg. It was a pretty good cut that could have used a stitch(s) but I decided to pass. It seemed like a waste of money to go get stitches on my leg. Who's checking them out anyway? I am a taken man and the last I heard scars are attractive to women. That would have put my official stitches count up to between 11 and 15 (I already had five on the chin (from passing out when my father had his bleeding ulcer...long story) and five on the eyebrow (the bone above my eye caught an elbow as I was looking up while a guy on the other team was coming down with a rebound.)) I am pretty sure I am staying away from anything sharp the rest of the year.
Just to update you on everyone -
LA
LA has 5 more day of school until summer officially starts. She will be done on June 1st. LA's kids did very well on the physical science end of course exam which is real good since she was out for 8 weeks. She does have a job next year at ARHS. Because of the budget if she would have been at another school no telling what would have happened.
Wyatt
He is still growing. He has started smiling when you play with him and talk to him or maybe it is just because he is passing gas which he has been doing a lot of lately. He has been very gassy. Last week he was unable to poop. We had the same thing happen with Aubrey. I still called the doctor and they told me the same thing we were going to do anyway but we wanted to be sure he wasn't too young (We couldn't remember when we started giving it to Aubrey. Which is not surprising since I can't remember anything these days...case it point on Sunday, I called Allen Greer by the wrong name and then stared at him like I knew it was wrong but couldn't come up with the right name. He corrected me (awkward)...Sorry, Allen, my brain had a misfire - I am also pretty sure he will never read this but maybe one day he will Google his name and this blog will pop up and he will remember that Sunday and know that I felt bad about calling him the wrong name. I would promise that it wouldn't happen again but it's probably going to get worse.) Mommy and Daddy had to resort to the Dark Karo syrup which worked like a champ. It worked so good that when he finally pooped it was with Arlette. We missed the blow out. We don't know what's causing the constipation but he is not happy about it.
He is also working on his third cold since March 5th...very frustrating and helpless feeling. He is congested and there isn't much we can do about it...pretty sure Aubrey is the carrier this time since she has a runny nose. Only a week before Aubrey is out of daycare for the summer and maybe Wyatt can get better.
Aubrey
I don't even know where to start. Words, words, words, words and more words...We are learning a new language and evidently need a translations class. Anybody got an Iphone that can translate Aubrey talk. They have apps for everything why not something useful. Right now half the time we can figure out what she is saying and the other half of the time when she says something LA and I look at each other with a puzzled look and ask her what she said which she then immediately repeats what she said and you still have no clue what she was talking about but a few that we have figured out:
stawberries - strawberries
gourt - yogurt
???bag - bookbag
boberries - blueberries
mlk - milk (vowels are optional)
yatt - wyatt (sometime consonants are optional)
However, the funniest thing is her tasting something and if she doesn't like it she will tell you "I don't like." Where did she learn this? We haven't ever said this around her? You have to be careful with it because sometimes she will say it with foods she really does like but 95% of the time when she say that you might as well take it away, unless you want to lose the battle.
We are trying to catch her on video jumping, hopping and dancing. They all are pretty much the same and equally funny but as soon as the camera comes out she stops doing it. LA and I laugh and laugh when she does any of them and shake our head.
KC
So 2010 looks like the year of me trying to mangle this temple of a body God has given me. In January, I had the accident with the mandolin slicer. You know the slicer you can make thin slices for making homemade potato chips and slicing veggies. I wasn't paying attention and talking to someone else and my finger got to close to the blade and I lopped the end of my finger off. It was quick and pretty much painless but you would have thought I had cut the main artery to my heart with all the blood. I survived and my finger healed. Just a couple of safety notes - make sure you use all the safety equipment that comes with it, evidently it's important and when your wife questions you about the safety equipment make sure you heed her warning (unlike what I did), the blade is super sharp - stitches were not an option. It was a clean cut and cut the end of my finger completely off. To be completely honest, it actually wasn't my fault. It was my friend Tim's fault. He showed up late to the gathering and was making a ruckus in the kitchen where everyone was gathered and because of that I had to turn my eyes away from slicing the potato (I am pretty sure he will never read this either, so I am officially publicly blaming him.) and presto one finger tip cut off.
Wednesday night, I was again in the kitchen in the same spot I cut the end of my finger off. I was cutting cheese for Aubrey to take for lunch the next day. After I finished cutting the cheese (2nd time I said that...ha, ha! I know your laughing.), I sat the knife on the counter and a few minutes later the knife was falling off the counter and somehow fell exactly right to make about a 1.25" cut in my lower leg. It was a pretty good cut that could have used a stitch(s) but I decided to pass. It seemed like a waste of money to go get stitches on my leg. Who's checking them out anyway? I am a taken man and the last I heard scars are attractive to women. That would have put my official stitches count up to between 11 and 15 (I already had five on the chin (from passing out when my father had his bleeding ulcer...long story) and five on the eyebrow (the bone above my eye caught an elbow as I was looking up while a guy on the other team was coming down with a rebound.)) I am pretty sure I am staying away from anything sharp the rest of the year.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Shout Out
I owe a friend and fellow blogger an apology for failing to give him a shout out sooner for his recent accomplishment. Greg Horres has done something that I had a little desire to accomplish after graduating but I have to be realistic with myself and say that the window of opportunity was very, very, very small - more about this later. Greg graduated last Saturday from CSU with a Masters degree in Business Administration. I never got the window open wide enough to attempt (the sofa seemed like a better option than writing more papers) - I was an average at best high school student - an under achiever. I hear LA talking about them all the time. I just did not like high school the classroom, the teachers, studying, & taking tests. I did like the social aspect, maybe too much. I am sure it had something with being forced to go to high school. Somehow, I graduated and got accepted into Francis Marion College. It would later become Francis Marion University. They must have been in need for tuition and were taking anybody who applied. However, I somehow turned into an above average college student - an over achiever because let's be honest after my high school career there were doubts that I would survive one semester and the odds of me actually graduating was less than 40% and after somehow graduating I was pretty sure an MBA was not in my future. After hearing about all the studying, projects, papers and tests that Greg had to do I made a great decision...maybe I will go back now and borrow all his papers).
I was disappointed in the selection of graduation pictures for the front page of Sunday's paper. They chose a young, blond female over Greg. Didn't seem fair to me. I was certain that he was going to be the cover story especially after his Leadership paper received the highest grade in the class and is the most requested MBA paper downloaded on the internet (okay, maybe it's not the most requested paper downloaded).
There was a rumor that was going around the Greg has been telling his current employer to "Show me the money!" To help him out I have been sending emails daily to his employer to remind them that Greg has his MBA and is waiting for the pay increase and promotion.
Congratulations Greg, on joining an elite group of people that includes LA. Maybe you and her can have some lengthy discussions about your Masters degrees and how much smarter than everyone else y'all are.
I was disappointed in the selection of graduation pictures for the front page of Sunday's paper. They chose a young, blond female over Greg. Didn't seem fair to me. I was certain that he was going to be the cover story especially after his Leadership paper received the highest grade in the class and is the most requested MBA paper downloaded on the internet (okay, maybe it's not the most requested paper downloaded).
There was a rumor that was going around the Greg has been telling his current employer to "Show me the money!" To help him out I have been sending emails daily to his employer to remind them that Greg has his MBA and is waiting for the pay increase and promotion.
Congratulations Greg, on joining an elite group of people that includes LA. Maybe you and her can have some lengthy discussions about your Masters degrees and how much smarter than everyone else y'all are.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
43 Update
In case your living under a rock, The NASCAR HOF opened tonight in Charlotte. The first inductees are:
Non Drivers:
Bill France Sr (founder)
Bill France Jr (responsible for taking it to the next level and ironically, his son Brian is responsible for taking in back a level)
Drivers:
43 - The King
3 - The Intimidator (really do I need to tell you)
Junior Johnson - Moonshiner - "The Last American Hero" (driver and later car owner)
It's a short drive to Charlotte from Charleston. I am pretty sure that a road trip will be in order to visit the HOF. If admission was free, then it would be a yearly pilgrimage. It's not. I am pretty sure I can convince LA to go with me (not because she loves NASCAR but because there's a Pottery Barn Outlet nearby and we can eat at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse).
Story Update - Looks like Charleston is finally going to get a Ruth's Chris Steakhouse after over a year of searching for a location another ownership group has purchased the Myrtle Beach location and the rights to open in Charleston. I am still going to Charlotte to the HOF with or without LA (but I hope with her).
Non Drivers:
Bill France Sr (founder)
Bill France Jr (responsible for taking it to the next level and ironically, his son Brian is responsible for taking in back a level)
Drivers:
43 - The King
3 - The Intimidator (really do I need to tell you)
Junior Johnson - Moonshiner - "The Last American Hero" (driver and later car owner)
It's a short drive to Charlotte from Charleston. I am pretty sure that a road trip will be in order to visit the HOF. If admission was free, then it would be a yearly pilgrimage. It's not. I am pretty sure I can convince LA to go with me (not because she loves NASCAR but because there's a Pottery Barn Outlet nearby and we can eat at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse).
Story Update - Looks like Charleston is finally going to get a Ruth's Chris Steakhouse after over a year of searching for a location another ownership group has purchased the Myrtle Beach location and the rights to open in Charleston. I am still going to Charlotte to the HOF with or without LA (but I hope with her).
Wyatt's 2 Month Appointment
Wyatt had his 2 month appointment today. Hard to believe that it has been over 9 weeks. Mommy has been insisting that Wyatt was getting longer and she was right. Here are the details:
Weight: 12lbs 4oz 70th percentile (+2lb 14oz from wk 2 appointment)
Height: 24.25" 90th percentile (2" from wk 2 appointment)
Head: 16" 75th percentile (+1.25" from wk 2 appointment)
Everything checked out and he is fine. He is tough like his sister. He got three shots and cried for about 1 minute and was fine (He got another one orally for a total of four). It is much easier the second time around to watch your child get shots and you just want her to get finished as quickly as possible.
Weight: 12lbs 4oz 70th percentile (+2lb 14oz from wk 2 appointment)
Height: 24.25" 90th percentile (2" from wk 2 appointment)
Head: 16" 75th percentile (+1.25" from wk 2 appointment)
Everything checked out and he is fine. He is tough like his sister. He got three shots and cried for about 1 minute and was fine (He got another one orally for a total of four). It is much easier the second time around to watch your child get shots and you just want her to get finished as quickly as possible.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Work From Home - LA's New Job - Goodbye Teaching
Have you ever seen the ads in the paper "You can make 8K working from home."? My first reaction to all that is it is a scam. However, I may have found a legit way for LA to make almost 8K while working at home and only have to work about 4 hours per day.
The other day we were having a conversation with another parent who also happens to be a doctor and I don't know how it happened but for some reason breast milk was topic of conversation. During our discussion, he mentioned a term that I had never heard before - "wet nurse". I paused the conversation and asked him exactly what was he talking about and he told me that there are women who after being pregnant or by taking medicine keep on making milk and get paid for it. I was pretty sure he was making this up as he went but he assured me this was happening - women beast feeding other people's children and people selling breast milk. So as any good blogger would do I did some research...
Unfortunately, in the Western (developed) hemisphere this seems to be a dying profession with the creation of breast milk banks that supply hospitals and the numerous manufactures of formula. Women who want to donate milk can send their milk to the bank where it is processed, screened, stored and then sent to hospitals for those who need. The bank charges a nominal fee for storing and shipping ($3 to $5 per ounce). Have you ever saw a bank that didn't charge a fee. So there's not much of an opportunity in this area. In third world countries this practice continues and actually during a UNICEF goodwill trip to Sierra Leone in 2009, Mexican actress Salma Hayek decided to breast-feed a local infant in front of the accompanying film crew. The sick one-week-old baby had been born the same day but a year later than her daughter, who had not yet been weaned. Hayek later discussed on camera an anecdote of her Mexican great-grandmother spontaneously breast-feeding a hungry baby in a village. (wikipedia - wet nurse, it's legit - I verified and there is a video on You Tube that I did not watch.)
The opportunity in all this is actually selling your milk for $$$ directly to the end user. You can get $1 or $2 per ounce. What!!!! The cash register is ringing. We are talking about $50 plus per day without much effort...talk about easy money ($350 per week). Of course this will be a cash only business...if you have to ask why, you don't need to know. It's not quite $8k per day but if she ramps up production, who knows how much liquid gold we could be selling weekly. There are even websites to sell your milk.
Time to get LA to work...financial freedom here we come.
________________________________________
I am going to be honest and tell you upfront that I tried to make this a joke but this whole thing bothers me and weirds me out - actually nursing someone else's child, using milk from another person. I don't know what else to say - weird. I am sure there are some cases where it is necessary BUT I am 100% sure we would opt for formula.
Sorry LA, it's back to work.
The other day we were having a conversation with another parent who also happens to be a doctor and I don't know how it happened but for some reason breast milk was topic of conversation. During our discussion, he mentioned a term that I had never heard before - "wet nurse". I paused the conversation and asked him exactly what was he talking about and he told me that there are women who after being pregnant or by taking medicine keep on making milk and get paid for it. I was pretty sure he was making this up as he went but he assured me this was happening - women beast feeding other people's children and people selling breast milk. So as any good blogger would do I did some research...
Unfortunately, in the Western (developed) hemisphere this seems to be a dying profession with the creation of breast milk banks that supply hospitals and the numerous manufactures of formula. Women who want to donate milk can send their milk to the bank where it is processed, screened, stored and then sent to hospitals for those who need. The bank charges a nominal fee for storing and shipping ($3 to $5 per ounce). Have you ever saw a bank that didn't charge a fee. So there's not much of an opportunity in this area. In third world countries this practice continues and actually during a UNICEF goodwill trip to Sierra Leone in 2009, Mexican actress Salma Hayek decided to breast-feed a local infant in front of the accompanying film crew. The sick one-week-old baby had been born the same day but a year later than her daughter, who had not yet been weaned. Hayek later discussed on camera an anecdote of her Mexican great-grandmother spontaneously breast-feeding a hungry baby in a village. (wikipedia - wet nurse, it's legit - I verified and there is a video on You Tube that I did not watch.)
The opportunity in all this is actually selling your milk for $$$ directly to the end user. You can get $1 or $2 per ounce. What!!!! The cash register is ringing. We are talking about $50 plus per day without much effort...talk about easy money ($350 per week). Of course this will be a cash only business...if you have to ask why, you don't need to know. It's not quite $8k per day but if she ramps up production, who knows how much liquid gold we could be selling weekly. There are even websites to sell your milk.
Time to get LA to work...financial freedom here we come.
________________________________________
I am going to be honest and tell you upfront that I tried to make this a joke but this whole thing bothers me and weirds me out - actually nursing someone else's child, using milk from another person. I don't know what else to say - weird. I am sure there are some cases where it is necessary BUT I am 100% sure we would opt for formula.
Sorry LA, it's back to work.
Bodyguard
Wyatt already has a bodyguard. I have lived for 43 years (see earlier post on being 43) and never had a bodyguard unless you count Gary H from my days of playing basketball on Bethany Red who stepped in on numerous occasions when I would run my mouth (only after being provoked) or after someone took exception to me hacking them. It was good to have him and at least two other people on the team that not many people would want to tangle with. It was amazing how much more crap you can get away with them on your team.
Now that LA is back at work (post about that forthcoming - only 16 days left), depending on my drop off route if I take Aubrey first then I have to take Wyatt out of the car because of some crazy law about leaving your child in a car unattended - I'm coming right back. (The less intelligent ruin all the good things and cause the government to get involved and we all know what happens when the government is involved. It reminds me of the joke - "I'm Sam Jones with the government and I am here to help you". ) So I have to take Wyatt with me to Aubrey's room and as soon as you walk into the room with him all the kids are saying "Baby", "Baby" and are running to the car seat, trying to get a look. It's like the paparazzi trying to get a picture of a celebrity. Aubrey takes care of the situation pretty quickly. She pulls them back one by one, sometimes causing them to cry...opps. She is super protective of him. She can poke and prod him but no one else. He is her brother and she lets them know it.
I don't know how long it will last but at some point Wyatt is going to have to tell her that he can fight his own battles and he will be protective of her (and who she is hanging out with - I am not calling it dating because Aubrey isn't going to date anyone for a long time.).
It's good to know someone's got your back.
Now that LA is back at work (post about that forthcoming - only 16 days left), depending on my drop off route if I take Aubrey first then I have to take Wyatt out of the car because of some crazy law about leaving your child in a car unattended - I'm coming right back. (The less intelligent ruin all the good things and cause the government to get involved and we all know what happens when the government is involved. It reminds me of the joke - "I'm Sam Jones with the government and I am here to help you". ) So I have to take Wyatt with me to Aubrey's room and as soon as you walk into the room with him all the kids are saying "Baby", "Baby" and are running to the car seat, trying to get a look. It's like the paparazzi trying to get a picture of a celebrity. Aubrey takes care of the situation pretty quickly. She pulls them back one by one, sometimes causing them to cry...opps. She is super protective of him. She can poke and prod him but no one else. He is her brother and she lets them know it.
I don't know how long it will last but at some point Wyatt is going to have to tell her that he can fight his own battles and he will be protective of her (and who she is hanging out with - I am not calling it dating because Aubrey isn't going to date anyone for a long time.).
It's good to know someone's got your back.
Thieves
So, I waited a week to post this because I wanted to be calmer. Last Friday, I got Aubrey in the car to go to daycare and got in the drivers seat and looked out the front windshield and noticed something wasn't right...The 13' red trailer that had a John Deere mower with bagging system and a small trash trailer (pulled by the JD) was missing (actually GONE!). Before I jumped to conclusions about someone stealing it, I made a few phone calls to make sure someone else with a key hadn't taken it. I should have jumped to the conclusion. At some point during the evening, a sorry excuse for a human being backed their truck up the the trailer, cut the lock (the dead give away it was locked was me calling the other people that have a key) and hauled tail.
I called the police to file the report and get the serial numbers in NCIC just in case they were stupid enough to try an pawn them which is highly unlikely since they are too big and worth too much. I am sure they will be sold to someone for a steal of a deal. I was able to joke with the officer about him not taking an impression of the tire to take back to the crime lab and have the computer tell him the make of tire and which vehicles use that specific tire or him not checking the satellite images from over night to see what vehicle and who took it. I fully expected to have them arrested before nightfall. I guess all that technology hasn't made it to the real world.
Since it was been a week now, I am pretty sure they didn't just borrow it and aren't planning on bringing it back.
The only good news is that I had finished cutting the grass. I guess I will have to come up with plan B in about 3 or 4 more days or I can let the weeds take over and put a sign in my front yard that the weeds aren't being cut because a worthless excuse of a human being stole the lawn mower and I am waiting on them to come cut it. I failed to mention that it wasn't even my lawn mower. It was my father's. I was using his because he had the rear bagging system and my yard was a disaster. So they were able to inconvenience not just one person but two.
To Summerize:
Last Friday Sucked
Out over $4k
Locks are still for honest people
A thief is a sorry, no good excuse of human being
What I Hope For:
The lawn mower breaks down and can't be fixed
The trailer has two flat tires or the wheels come completely off
Somebody runs into the back of the trailer and totals it and the vehicle pulling it
Justice
Keep your eye out for this trailer in red
And this lawn mover with a rear bagging system
I called the police to file the report and get the serial numbers in NCIC just in case they were stupid enough to try an pawn them which is highly unlikely since they are too big and worth too much. I am sure they will be sold to someone for a steal of a deal. I was able to joke with the officer about him not taking an impression of the tire to take back to the crime lab and have the computer tell him the make of tire and which vehicles use that specific tire or him not checking the satellite images from over night to see what vehicle and who took it. I fully expected to have them arrested before nightfall. I guess all that technology hasn't made it to the real world.
Since it was been a week now, I am pretty sure they didn't just borrow it and aren't planning on bringing it back.
The only good news is that I had finished cutting the grass. I guess I will have to come up with plan B in about 3 or 4 more days or I can let the weeds take over and put a sign in my front yard that the weeds aren't being cut because a worthless excuse of a human being stole the lawn mower and I am waiting on them to come cut it. I failed to mention that it wasn't even my lawn mower. It was my father's. I was using his because he had the rear bagging system and my yard was a disaster. So they were able to inconvenience not just one person but two.
To Summerize:
Last Friday Sucked
Out over $4k
Locks are still for honest people
A thief is a sorry, no good excuse of human being
What I Hope For:
The lawn mower breaks down and can't be fixed
The trailer has two flat tires or the wheels come completely off
Somebody runs into the back of the trailer and totals it and the vehicle pulling it
Justice
Keep your eye out for this trailer in red
And this lawn mover with a rear bagging system
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