I am pretty new to this whole being a father. I would consider myself "in-training". I don't know if you ever finish your training and I know you never stop being a dad or at least I haven't given my father a break yet. The best part is that he hasn't retired from being dad. That's a lot of responsibility and years of service.
The best part is that I am fortunate to have some pretty good role models - my father and both grandfathers.
Julius Lucian Cantey (mom's dad) - hard working farmer, honest, loved his wife, family and God. I will always remember going to stay with them in the summer and working with him in the tobacco field and him paying me in cash at the end of the day and I am sure he paid me more than I was worth. I remember him and my grandmother being active in their church and me riding with them on Sunday in the red Falcon (that was a cool car). I don't know for sure but I bet I could count on my hand the number of Sundays they missed before their health prevented them from going. I remember him counting the offering plate money. Looking back, I probably should add patient to the partial list of his qualities. I am sure I was a pain in his rear sometimes (most of the time) but he never showed it. I will never forget the sound of his voice when he would call the animals to feed. I also will never forget constantly getting shocked by the electric fence - city boy trying to learn his way around the farm and every time I thought I had cleared the fence somehow I would get shocked. I never thought I was learning anything while spending time there in the summer but looking back I learned a lot and it still influences who I am today.
William Etheridge Carter (Dad's father) - I didn't spend as much time or know him as well as my other Grandfather. I know he was respected by a lot of people and I have read a couple of articles about him in newsletters from his employer - Westvaco. I know that he did something that I don't think I could do today or back then - he raised two boys by himself after his wife died. He was a single parent when very few people knew what being a single parent was all about. Your first thought is that both boys would be wild but that wasn't the case. I do have a few memories from spending time with him. I remember him butchering a cow and Dad and I going to take part. He had this huge oak tree in the front yard and I remember the cow hanging from the tree limb. I also remember the man that came and took all the parts of the cow that we didn't want. I don't know what he did with them but I keep telling myself that he threw them out for us. I am pretty sure I am wrong. I know he was a hard worker. I didn't spend enough time with him to really get to know him before he died. I was a teenager when he died and remember being told. I am pretty sure it was the first funeral I ever went to. That's something you don't ever forget. You are not supposed to have regrets in life but looking back, I regret being a pain in my parents backside every time we went to visit him in Walterboro (which wasn't that often). I do appreciate the ice cream for the ride home after we visited but they should have jerked a knot in me and my sister for complaining about going and having to give up a Sunday afternoon to go visit - as if my time was so important - I got that one all wrong.
William Aubrey Carter (Dad and our daughter's namesake) - I wish I could find the paper I wrote in college about him (then I could just copy and paste but pretty sure the since that was the beginning of the computer revolution it wouldn't be compatible). He is at least half responsible for who I am today (gotta give the rest of the credit to my mom). Faithful (an example of living a life worthy of the calling we have received from God), loving, honest, caring, humble, patient, provider, giving...etc. That's a few that quickly come to mind and only scratch the surface. I have a bunch of great memories that I will carry with me the rest of my days - playing catch (football and baseball), playing golf together (we need to do more of that), giving me advise and helping me at work (still, rely on him). I also remember an accident where we tried to kill each other (I am pretty sure it was unintentional on both our parts, at least it was on my part). To make a long story short, a tree fell on me (It really fell on both of us. I was on the ground and he was on the tractor but I got the short end of the stick.). After the blow, which I turned and saw the tree falling towards me at the last second, we both looked at each other wondering if the other was okay. I survived with a nice scar from the chain saw digging into my leg which since nothing was dismembered, we continued to work for a little while. I guess we were both at fault that day for being forgetful and stupid. I remember breaking his hand when the pig cooker lid fell while cleaning it and his hand wasn't out of the way (yea, that hurt me watching it happen but it hurt him a lot more) - that was my fault for not being careful. Over the years, I learned how to treat others - do undo others as you would have done to you. I learned about giving and that this life isn't all about me - their is something bigger than me and I am just a small but important part in that plan. He lives his life with his priorities firm and unshakable - God, family, and work (golf might have taken the place of work, since he retired). This doesn't even scratch the surface and leaves the majority of things out but hopefully it is a glimpse of who he is and the impact he has had in my life and continues to have today and into the future. They are big shoes to fill and I know I will never fill them completely but I hope that I am growing into them and will come close.
The one trait that runs through each of them is unconditional love and them pouring that love out to me directly and indirectly by them unselfishly giving me their T-I-M-E.
I am convinced that you are never ready for kids (you tell yourself you are but you aren't). But what I have experienced so far is that every stage you go through with your kids starting with pregnancy prepares you for the next and even though you don't know how you will survive or what you are supposed to do your values, beliefs and instincts (the lessons you have learned from your life and others - some easy and others hard) show you the way and for me those things have been shaped by these three individuals.
Thanks for loving me for who I was, who I am and who I continue to become.
Happy Father's Day!
The best part is that I am fortunate to have some pretty good role models - my father and both grandfathers.
Julius Lucian Cantey (mom's dad) - hard working farmer, honest, loved his wife, family and God. I will always remember going to stay with them in the summer and working with him in the tobacco field and him paying me in cash at the end of the day and I am sure he paid me more than I was worth. I remember him and my grandmother being active in their church and me riding with them on Sunday in the red Falcon (that was a cool car). I don't know for sure but I bet I could count on my hand the number of Sundays they missed before their health prevented them from going. I remember him counting the offering plate money. Looking back, I probably should add patient to the partial list of his qualities. I am sure I was a pain in his rear sometimes (most of the time) but he never showed it. I will never forget the sound of his voice when he would call the animals to feed. I also will never forget constantly getting shocked by the electric fence - city boy trying to learn his way around the farm and every time I thought I had cleared the fence somehow I would get shocked. I never thought I was learning anything while spending time there in the summer but looking back I learned a lot and it still influences who I am today.
William Etheridge Carter (Dad's father) - I didn't spend as much time or know him as well as my other Grandfather. I know he was respected by a lot of people and I have read a couple of articles about him in newsletters from his employer - Westvaco. I know that he did something that I don't think I could do today or back then - he raised two boys by himself after his wife died. He was a single parent when very few people knew what being a single parent was all about. Your first thought is that both boys would be wild but that wasn't the case. I do have a few memories from spending time with him. I remember him butchering a cow and Dad and I going to take part. He had this huge oak tree in the front yard and I remember the cow hanging from the tree limb. I also remember the man that came and took all the parts of the cow that we didn't want. I don't know what he did with them but I keep telling myself that he threw them out for us. I am pretty sure I am wrong. I know he was a hard worker. I didn't spend enough time with him to really get to know him before he died. I was a teenager when he died and remember being told. I am pretty sure it was the first funeral I ever went to. That's something you don't ever forget. You are not supposed to have regrets in life but looking back, I regret being a pain in my parents backside every time we went to visit him in Walterboro (which wasn't that often). I do appreciate the ice cream for the ride home after we visited but they should have jerked a knot in me and my sister for complaining about going and having to give up a Sunday afternoon to go visit - as if my time was so important - I got that one all wrong.
William Aubrey Carter (Dad and our daughter's namesake) - I wish I could find the paper I wrote in college about him (then I could just copy and paste but pretty sure the since that was the beginning of the computer revolution it wouldn't be compatible). He is at least half responsible for who I am today (gotta give the rest of the credit to my mom). Faithful (an example of living a life worthy of the calling we have received from God), loving, honest, caring, humble, patient, provider, giving...etc. That's a few that quickly come to mind and only scratch the surface. I have a bunch of great memories that I will carry with me the rest of my days - playing catch (football and baseball), playing golf together (we need to do more of that), giving me advise and helping me at work (still, rely on him). I also remember an accident where we tried to kill each other (I am pretty sure it was unintentional on both our parts, at least it was on my part). To make a long story short, a tree fell on me (It really fell on both of us. I was on the ground and he was on the tractor but I got the short end of the stick.). After the blow, which I turned and saw the tree falling towards me at the last second, we both looked at each other wondering if the other was okay. I survived with a nice scar from the chain saw digging into my leg which since nothing was dismembered, we continued to work for a little while. I guess we were both at fault that day for being forgetful and stupid. I remember breaking his hand when the pig cooker lid fell while cleaning it and his hand wasn't out of the way (yea, that hurt me watching it happen but it hurt him a lot more) - that was my fault for not being careful. Over the years, I learned how to treat others - do undo others as you would have done to you. I learned about giving and that this life isn't all about me - their is something bigger than me and I am just a small but important part in that plan. He lives his life with his priorities firm and unshakable - God, family, and work (golf might have taken the place of work, since he retired). This doesn't even scratch the surface and leaves the majority of things out but hopefully it is a glimpse of who he is and the impact he has had in my life and continues to have today and into the future. They are big shoes to fill and I know I will never fill them completely but I hope that I am growing into them and will come close.
The one trait that runs through each of them is unconditional love and them pouring that love out to me directly and indirectly by them unselfishly giving me their T-I-M-E.
I am convinced that you are never ready for kids (you tell yourself you are but you aren't). But what I have experienced so far is that every stage you go through with your kids starting with pregnancy prepares you for the next and even though you don't know how you will survive or what you are supposed to do your values, beliefs and instincts (the lessons you have learned from your life and others - some easy and others hard) show you the way and for me those things have been shaped by these three individuals.
Thanks for loving me for who I was, who I am and who I continue to become.
Happy Father's Day!
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