LA and I are fairly new to the parenting gig and already have 2 which one of them happens to be busy, curious, determined and any other synonym that goes with those words. I have determined that is difficult sometimes to discipline Aubrey without either LA and I laughing at what she did. There are rare times when both LA or I think it is funny but she still has to be disciplined or we are going to have a wild child on our hands (we think it might me too late on that one). Whenever Aubrey has done something that requires timeout it isn't uncommon for whomever is in "parent mode" and are putting her in timeout to just about stomp through the floor with every step on the way to timeout. Depending on what she has done, the hardest part is not laughing while the other one is in "parent mode". Sometimes the race to timeout is not because you are so angry with her or what she did but because if you look at her you are going to smile and she is going to think it's funny and the purpose of timeout is lost.
So every good point needs an illustration or two. Illustration 1 - A couple of Sunday's ago we decided to give Aubrey one of her Christmas gifts (trust me she hasn't suffered in the least bit and it gives her a new toy in the middle of April when LA and I are probably not going to buy her something and it is a long time from Christmas to her birthday. So if you gave her something and don't see it around the house, don't assume that we have returned it or regifted it (it's a possibility, I am not going to say this happens or not) but more likely we have saved it for another day (just don't ask us to produce it because then we would have to make up some story about it being over at grandma's or our neighbor's dog eating it ...etc.))...back to the story - wooden ABC blocks (thanks, Julie). Aubrey and I were on the floor playing stacking and knocking them down. While playing Aubrey picked up one of the blocks and instead of stacking it with the rest she threw the block from close range and nailed me in the mouth (I am pretty sure it was the letter T and the word associated with T was THROW and had a picture of a kid throwing a ball, what were they thinking? but let's be honest it's made in China and what do they care if I got hit with the letter T block) - straight to time out, do not pass go. Where is my partner, my teammate for life, my wife, LA? On the sofa trying not laugh. Illustration 2 - Yesterday, when I got home from work I was playing with Aubrey on the sofa with LA and Wyatt. We were all having a good time. Aubrey was playing with LA's phone when all of a sudden she threw the cell phone and clocked me on the bridge of my nose. Straight to time out, do not pass go and "Don't move an inch?". I will be honest the block hurt for a minute and was done but my nose was still hurting after I put her in timeout. I sat down on the sofa while LA is laughing, under her breath so Aubrey doesn't hear her, about what had just happened and my instructions to Aubrey. She then looks at my nose and continues to laugh because it has left a small mark. At this point, it was difficult to find the humor but for the rest of Aubrey's timeout LA continued to laugh and eventually convinced me it was funny and I was at least smiling if not laughing a little. (Do you see another pattern developing, a side story? Every time, I get injured LA laughs at me. It's OK I guess as long as I am not seriously hurt and I expect it because if you have ever watched America's Funniest Home Videos with her(which I am pretty sure you haven't and if you have maybe, we need to talk) you would understand her laughing at me. Most of the time when we watch it, I am not even laughing at the video but laughing at her laughing at the video.) I always thought I would need eventually need a cup - you've seen the countless videos when the father is playing with the kids and the kid hits, kicks, punches or throws something and it hits him in the jewels. So, instead of a cup I am going to Dick's Sporting Goods and purchasing a catcher's mask or a hockey goalie's mask.
Who knows if timeout is working...at least I know when she has done something wrong that timeout is the punishment instead of throwing the object back at her which probably what I want to do but isn't the best option for either of us but would probably drive home the point about throwing objects quicker than timeout.
So every good point needs an illustration or two. Illustration 1 - A couple of Sunday's ago we decided to give Aubrey one of her Christmas gifts (trust me she hasn't suffered in the least bit and it gives her a new toy in the middle of April when LA and I are probably not going to buy her something and it is a long time from Christmas to her birthday. So if you gave her something and don't see it around the house, don't assume that we have returned it or regifted it (it's a possibility, I am not going to say this happens or not) but more likely we have saved it for another day (just don't ask us to produce it because then we would have to make up some story about it being over at grandma's or our neighbor's dog eating it ...etc.))...back to the story - wooden ABC blocks (thanks, Julie). Aubrey and I were on the floor playing stacking and knocking them down. While playing Aubrey picked up one of the blocks and instead of stacking it with the rest she threw the block from close range and nailed me in the mouth (I am pretty sure it was the letter T and the word associated with T was THROW and had a picture of a kid throwing a ball, what were they thinking? but let's be honest it's made in China and what do they care if I got hit with the letter T block) - straight to time out, do not pass go. Where is my partner, my teammate for life, my wife, LA? On the sofa trying not laugh. Illustration 2 - Yesterday, when I got home from work I was playing with Aubrey on the sofa with LA and Wyatt. We were all having a good time. Aubrey was playing with LA's phone when all of a sudden she threw the cell phone and clocked me on the bridge of my nose. Straight to time out, do not pass go and "Don't move an inch?". I will be honest the block hurt for a minute and was done but my nose was still hurting after I put her in timeout. I sat down on the sofa while LA is laughing, under her breath so Aubrey doesn't hear her, about what had just happened and my instructions to Aubrey. She then looks at my nose and continues to laugh because it has left a small mark. At this point, it was difficult to find the humor but for the rest of Aubrey's timeout LA continued to laugh and eventually convinced me it was funny and I was at least smiling if not laughing a little. (Do you see another pattern developing, a side story? Every time, I get injured LA laughs at me. It's OK I guess as long as I am not seriously hurt and I expect it because if you have ever watched America's Funniest Home Videos with her(which I am pretty sure you haven't and if you have maybe, we need to talk) you would understand her laughing at me. Most of the time when we watch it, I am not even laughing at the video but laughing at her laughing at the video.) I always thought I would need eventually need a cup - you've seen the countless videos when the father is playing with the kids and the kid hits, kicks, punches or throws something and it hits him in the jewels. So, instead of a cup I am going to Dick's Sporting Goods and purchasing a catcher's mask or a hockey goalie's mask.
Who knows if timeout is working...at least I know when she has done something wrong that timeout is the punishment instead of throwing the object back at her which probably what I want to do but isn't the best option for either of us but would probably drive home the point about throwing objects quicker than timeout.
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