Child Birthing Class Report

07.26.08

We went to Child Birthing Classes today at the mall. Trident has a classroom at Northwoods Mall that they use to offer a variety of classes. I will have to say that this was the first time I have ever walked into the mall with pillows and a blanket. The classroom was pretty crowded. We were definitely in the minority of those that have found out what they are having. I don't even know where to begin but here it goes...

The first thing is that going forward from here, LA and I will not listen to your horror stories about child birthing. By you telling her these stories you are creating unnecessary fear. If you have a good story about the beauty of child birth, we will listen; but otherwise let's just keep that birthing horror story to yourself. This child birthing class was really more than a child birthing class. It was a life lesson class. How to deal with stress, tension and instead of reacting to situation we need to respond. Instead of reacting to the situation like we normally would by flying off the handle and raising our blood pressure, we need to respond. We learned breathing techniques to breath in the good and exhale to bad - deep breaths in and a deep breath out with a sigh. I learned that throughout this process I have to be LA's rock, her Moses. When LA takes her shower after giving birth, she has to cry it all out and wash everything down the drain - just let it all go.
We watched the birthing video that you hear so much about. I am pretty sure that the video was early 80's which makes me assume that it isn't very profitable to make birthing videos. I guess it's like the teacher said, the process hasn't changed much over the years. However, it would be nice to have a newer video with a pretty woman and a dreamy guy (LA made me put that part). Surely, someone would be willing to volunteer for a few bucks. Maybe that could be a way for LA and I to start the college fund. I am thinking ours would be more of a comedy/"don't do it this way" type of video. I can't describe the video with words but it was funny. The good news is that I didn't turn my head, feel queasy, or pass out. I did learn from the video that I need to practice my singing - the guy in the video was singing "She'll we coming round the mountain". Come on, admit it, you're laughing - We were! I am trying to find a couple of good songs to learn. Got any suggestions?
We did learn a couple of breathing techniques - the 4 in/out, 2 in/out and the he,he,who,who. Should we be concerned that we couldn't do them in the class without laughing? Will we be able to do them in the delivery room? The instructor did threaten the men with a story of a husband who was being verbally mean to his wife during delivery. The nurse asked him to step in the hallway and told him to lighten up on the verbal beating he was giving his wife and to imagine passing a golf ball through his penis - now that hurts just thinking about it.

We learned about the "ring of fire" - 10cm dilated as the babies head passes through. Maybe that will be the song I sing. We are also going to take the placenta home and plant a tree on top of it. It's full of good stuff. She even suggested, which I thought was pure gold,that we call friends over to do tasks around the house after the baby is born and we are at home. She told us that would separate our true friends from those that are just standby friends. FYI - I like my shirts ironed with a little starch, the floors vacuumed then damp mopped. Everything you'll need to cook and wash the dishes are provided. We'll need some yard work done also.

The final lesson was relaxation techniques. We all laid on the floor with our blanket and pillows and the instructor tried to have us visualize going to the beach. During her description of the beach, I began to hear someone snoring lightly and then very heavy. They were knocked out, give that student an "A". LA and I were about to bust out laughing. The last part was me becoming in tune with LA's body and where she is tense. I aced that part. LA would tense a part of her body and I would find it - it was her butt every time.

We graduated and got our diploma from baby birthing class. Only 6 more weeks...hope we don't forget everything before the big day.

PS - I forgot the best thing about the whole day. We had Chick-Fil-A for lunch. It was the most expensive Chick-Fil-A lunch we have ever had and we didn't get waffle fries - fruit instead. I'm sure it had something to do with baby nutrition but at this point I don't think a few grapes, apple pieces and oranges are going to make a difference. So lunch was the high point of the day.

PPS - I forgot the most important lesson we learned from the class. The 4-1-1 on 5-1-1. The 5-1-1 is when you head to the hospital - five contractions lasting one minute for one hour. So basically a contraction every 12 minutes for an hour.

Pictures

07.25.08

Here are some pictures of LA. The first picture was taken in early April and the other were taken last night. There's been a good bit of growth in the past three months...








I told you we would post some pictures of the baby room with and without the crib. Here they are...







Upcoming Events - Baby Birthing Classes on Saturday, July 26th...don't miss the post from this event.

Doctor's Visit

7.22.08

Week 33

We went to the doctor today. We were supposed to see LA's original doctor but we got switched to the new doctor (see above posts). I am sure that just like in my business we have issues that cause delays each day but once again we had to wait and wait and wait. This is an industry problem, not just this doctor's office. It must be something they teach doctors in med school - make them wait, blood pressure rises and other things begin to happen and you can diagnose those "new" problems and prescribe them more medicine (sorry to my doctor friends reading this, do me a favor and become part of the solution)

We waited 50 minutes for the doctor to come in the room - terrible, horrible. There's just not much to do in the rooms at this point. We already have a child about to pop out. You have already read about every type of contraception on the market, studied the female body parts, studied the human body...etc. I think I could pass human anatomy at this point. Anyway, the same routine with her as before - the standard questions - bleeding, cramping, contractions...etc, quick measure, check the heart beat, any questions and out the door. LA was only plus 1cm this week. That helps the chances of attending the Clemson game...The baby's heartbeat was 156 bpm. It was back up this week, probably because the baby was active. We have one more visit in two weeks and then it is every week until baby Carter arrives.

This constantly going to the doctor is crazy, especially how long it takes...I think we are going to start trusting the baby timer God gave all women - the belly button. The baby isn't ready until the belly button pops out. It is just like a pop up timer in a turkey and those things are accurate. I wonder if that is where they came up with the idea for the pop up timer? When LA's belly button pops out is when I'm going back to the doctor's office.

07.20.08

We just got back from a weekend in ATL with the church - some youth, young adults and adults. We went to the Braves game on Friday night and got to watch a good fireworks show after the game. We went to Six Flags on Saturday. We chose the shortest operating day of summer 9:00am until 5:00pm. Microsoft had rented out the park for the evening until 1:00am. Darn that Bill Gates. In an effort to maximize the day, 6 people paid an additional $35 for the the Flash Pass - Gold. We went VIP style and it paid off. The longest we waited to ride any roller coaster was 15 minutes. What's the worst part about being at an amusement park - the lines. We totally avoided that part. It was the best $35 I have ever spent!

LA couldn't ride all the coasters but she got her rides in. You should have seen the looks people were giving her. We didn't know what the big deal was?!?!?! She isn't any bigger than some of the people riding. We wanted baby Carter to enjoy and not be scared of roller coasters - train them early. She did bail out on Superman because it turns you parallel to the ground. We didn't think that one would be safe. As many of you know my philosophy on these types of trips - We went to Six Flags to do what - ride the rides...we didn't go to eat the $8 hot dogs - you hydrate and eat on the walk to the next ride. Actually sitting down to eat is wasting time and not allowing you to maximize your RPD - rides per day. The Flash Pass Gold allowed Rosie and I to get in 30+ rides. Everyone in the group was not up to the challenge. I know LA (and my other other coaster fanatics, Mark, Nick, Morgan, Jenn, Spoons, Jeter) would have been with me if she wasn't limited by being pregnant. Rosie was with me step for step and ride for ride. Anytime we could get off and right back on for a quick re-ride, we were doing it (remember it's about the RPD). Rosie and I got split on the last coaster of the day and she got two rides in as the ride was closing and I got three rides. I got the final ride of the day. As I mentioned earlier the final total was over 30 for both of us. An impressive RPD for only 8 hours in the park. LA was a trooper all day in the park.

Okay, so she didn't ride the roller coasters but I told you she got some rides in - haunted house, Thomas the Train and spent the afternoon in the water park. On Sunday we worshiped at North Point Community Church just outside ATL. I have never been to a 10,000 member church with 3,000 people attending each worship service. Don't think it's my style for every Sunday worship but it was a good change of pace.

Trooper

07.16.08

Nothing much has been happening on the baby front...no news is good news. LA is still being a trooper, not complaining about much at all. Her feet are swelling but I guess that is to be expected in our climate. She is not having any problems sleeping which is good for both of us. We are depositing extra hours in at the sleep bank for use after the baby comes.

I Think I Need To Take My Rings Off

07.13.08

For the past couple of weeks LA has been saying she needs to take her rings off (wedding band and engagement ring). I told her that was unacceptable. If I couldn't take mine off she wasn't going to take hers off. Well last night she decided that they had to come off because her hands were swelling. She didn't even think she could get them off and was afraid that they might have to be cut off. I reminded her of what happens when we take her rings off. She decided it didn't matter, they had to come off. We tried first without any assistance of outside substances and no luck. She had probably waited about a week too long. I got on the internet and did a quick search for some tips and found a site that made it sound so easy - like you could take any ring off. I bet Mrs. Walker wishes I had this training the day she got stung by the yellow jacket/bee/wasp in the parking lot at the church and her hand started swelling. I could have gotten that ring off in no time without her having to have it cut off. Anyway, we started with raising the hand above the heart for 10-15 minutes. Then we soaked her hand in ice cold water for 15 minutes. We then went to the sink to spray her finger down with Windex (Man, that stuff is slippery!). We attempted to pull the ring off but we simply could not get it passed the knuckle. We kept pulling and twisting the ring, pulling the skin under the ring toward the hand and spraying more Windex. I was just about to give up when there was some progress and LA gave me the go ahead to keep pulling. All of a sudden we cleared the knuckle and the force of me pulling along with the slippery Windex caused the ring to slip from my fingers, land in the sink and drop down the drain..........Are you kidding me? What are the odds of that happening? I know you're thinking what I was thinking, that would never happen to me - well, thank goodness, it didn't happen to me. Everything I said happened except the ring going down the drain. Her wedding band was much easier to get off. So, what did she do...she packed up some clothes and left town this morning for a couple of days. Sounds fishy to me - "Will you take my rings off my fingers cause they are swelling" and then take off out of town the next day! And she didn't go alone - Theresa and Rachael went with her to a "volleyball coaches clinic" at the beach no less (Coastal Carolina University). How much "clinic" time to you do you think will be going on...beach with scenery or and indoor clinic? I mean, let's be real, how much training does the the winning-est high school volleyball coach in the country need - "volleyball clinic" at the beach, still sounds super fishy to me. So what's good for the goose is good for the gander. I am taking my ring off until she put hers back on. She's not going to have all the fun...maybe I will go out of town next week.

Drano Test

07.12.08

We attempted the Drano test today. I say attempted because it was not successful. We had a funny moment that showed the difference in our ages. When I think of Drano I think of the metal container with the pellets which is what the Drano test calls for. So all this whole time I've been telling LA about the Drano test I assumed that she understood what type of Drano I was talking about. So about two weeks ago, she told me she bought the Drano. I never inspected it. Didn't see a need to. She told me she bought it what could be wrong. We woke up this morning with nothing planned first thing in the morning so we decided to do the Drano test. I got LA a cup to collect the sample in and then went to get the Drano from the laundry room. I picked up the Drano container and realized we had a communication problem. LA had gotten liquid Drano. All she knows about Drano is that it comes as a liquid or gel. She didn't have a clue that Drano came in the crystal form. So what do we do - we have the sample and liquid Drano so you give it the old college try.

All we got was water downed Drano and a little bubbly action. We laughed and LA has now put me in charge of getting the crystal Drano. Continue to stay tuned for this developing story...

Crib Assembly

07.11.08

LA finished painting the baby's room today and tonight after I got home from work we decided to put the crib together. It was about 150 lbs and in a 6' x 4' box (see above post about purchasing it) and still in the back of my truck. I decided that there was no reason to attempt to get the box the house. I opened it in the car and brought the pieces in one at a time. There were only about 7 or 8 pieces. We started about 8:15 and finished about an hour or so later. It wasn't very difficult which was surprising. We have taken some pictures so I will posted them later. We think the crib looks good. Hope the baby likes it. If not at first then he/she will have to learn to love it. We will call it his/her first two life lessons - you can't always get what you want and always appreciate what is given to you.

Week 31

07/10/08

Week 31

We visited the doctor today. We gave the new doctor a second chance but we're just not clicking with her. Don't misunderstand, she is nice, capable and if she is on call when LA goes into labor that is fine. However, right now we have a choice of which doctor we see and we choose to see the other two over the next 9 weeks (single digits) - Isn't it great to live in a place where you can choose. I will give the new doctor credit for a quick visit - she asks how your feeling and if any of a list of things has happened or is happening, listens to the baby's heart, measures and you're done.

The baby's heart rate was at 135 bpm and LA is still +2cm. Which still means we could be at 7 weeks! LA better hurry up on the baby's room.

I/We put up the chair rail on Tuesday night. I am still a half-behind carpenter...I forgot that for me it's measure 3 times and cut (actually measure 3 times, write it down and cut). The chair rail definitely makes a difference. We think it looks likes a boy's room right now. A few pink polka dots and we'll have a cute girl's room. Hopefully, we will finish up on Friday. I will try to post some pictures of the room prior to us adding furniture (well, the crib, it's all we have).

Week 30 Update

07.07.08

Week 30

Here's the latest on the baby's development (from the internet) - 15.7 inches long and about 3 lbs. LA has to careful because her center of gravity is changing and might start feeling clumsier that normal.

Not much happening on the baby front the past week...We spent the weekend at the beach house with all of my family. The pregnant thing has some benefits - We got a real bed instead of the pull out sofa bed which was nice of my sister but you know what, we like the sofa bed better. We had a good time...Carter and KP went to the Dave Matthew's concert on Friday at The Joe (They stayed with us in S'ville on Thursday night) - arrived at The Joe at 8:45am and sat all day waiting. I guess it paid off as they were front row - now, that's commitment. They finally made it to the beach around 2:30am - a long day. They had a great time - oh, the college days. LA and I went shopping on Saturday and bought some boys and girls outfits so we have some clothes for the baby. Here's what we have decided - we really need to have a boy because we will not be able to afford a girl. We found so many precious outfits for a girl that we could have maxed out the credit card. The best part about having a boy is that all he needs is a clean diaper and he is ready to tackle the day. We went to the movies Saturday night with Julie's family - Wall E. It sucked. The best part was the $40 worth of candy that we took into the movies in my sister's purse. Sunday was the best day - Meghan and I watched tennis and from 9:00am until it was over - no changing clothes, no shower, no brushing your teeth. While we did the lazy thing, LA and Julie went shopping (mark that day down in the books - I didn't go with her) at the new shops on the old Air Force Base. Somehow our bank account was spared, for which I am grateful. LA actually went to Pottery Barn and bought nothing.

LA was hard at work painting the baby's room last week. She couldn't find anyone to help - I guess everyone was busy. We can't expect everyone to drop everything they're doing to come help. Hope that changes when the baby comes. We're going to need some help. I think it's just that everyone hates painting like us but everyone loves keeping a baby for a few hour or days at a time...OK, I stretched the truth - She didn't paint the whole room, only about 3-4 feet above the baseboards. She is painting the chair rail today. Hopefully this evening, she will get the chair rail installed; I just have to get her the saw and nail gun. Then, she can check that off the "to do" list.

Almost forgot, put me down for husband of the year. I've been rubbing LA's feet (must be clean) and back!

One last thing - Don't do anything to make a pregnant lady at 30+ weeks sneeze. If you don't know what could happen, ask me or ask one.