Disclaimer

The stories contained here may or may not be actual stories from our lives. They very well may be fictional accounts. I have a creative mind. They could be fictional parenting examples to help you, life stories, or true stories to help the readers of this blog. I can't confirm or deny the accuracy contained in each post. Take the information contained here and laugh a little, shake your head a little and ask yourself if he is serious. I will deny that any of these accounts were actually from our lives.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Great Waterpark Adventure In January

For all those that are reading this "Welcome Back to the slowest growing blog in America with a confirmed readership of about 5."!  I took and extended vacation for Christmas and New Years from blogging.  I was out gathering material for 2012 and I think after this weekends adventure at least the first part of this post will be worth reading. Thanks for checking back and not giving up.  This post is for all my "Our Life" fans.  Let's get this party started:

January 14 - 15, 2012
Great Wolf Lodge
Water Park Adventure

I know the first thing you are thinking is "water park in January?" - which was accompanied by the facial expression of "are you nuts?" .  Which after the 100th time of telling someone about it, I finally just gave in and began telling them "yep, were taking the kids to the water park in January and freezing our butts off because we are cheap, it's a deal and the lines are shorter (have you been to a water park in the summer?)  Actually, we went to an indoor water park (whoever came up with this idea was a genius)  called Great Wolf Lodge (FYI, if you click the link and see the two girls in the pool, don't get to excited - you don't have the park to yourself...more on that later - 84 degrees and 80,000 sq feet) in Concord, NC (everyone calls it Charlotte but that's like saying Summerville is Charleston).  If you have ever been to the Concord Charlotte Motor Speedway in Concord you were real close to the water park.  

Participating in this adventure (or sucked into this adventure) were the Our Life family and to protect their identity let's call them Tim, Arlette, Madison and Dylan.

Before I get too far into the is post, I want to give a shout out to LA for being a trooper and agreeing to go to a waterpark knowing she couldn't ride any of the fun stuff since she is with child.  She even let me go be a big kid for a couple of hours each day with Tim, Madison and Dylan.  

For the most part, the water park is only open to guests of the Great Wolf Lodge (GWL).  With your overnight stay, you can start using the water park at 1:00pm and can use the waterpark until 9:00pm on the night of you departure.  We walked through the doors into the water park around 3:00pm and were greeted by a warm rush of air and thought this is pretty warm (84 degrees) - more on this later.  Aubrey didn't make the cut by 3" for having free reign of the entire park and was limited to the kid area and the tree house with two slides and pools - she missed out on the four best slides.  This was disappointing (to me) but it didn't make any difference to her.  Tim's family went to the big kid slides and LA and I took Wyatt and Aubrey to the tree house so they could ride the slides.  The rule for who could ride the slides in the tree house was as follows:  under 42" permitted with "adult supervision".  Now I am not sure what GWL calls "adult supervision" but it doesn't equal LA's or my definition of "adult supervision" BECAUSE the slide is a lay on your back, no sitting in laps, one at a time.  Adult supervised to me means we can ride together and if something happens it's my fault.  So Wyatt could ride this slide "adult supervised" which evidently to GWL means you take responsibility for shoving your child under 42" down the slide.  We decided that Wyatt was a little to young for those slides but Aubrey could ride them.  I convinced pushed Aubrey down the slide and told her "see you at the bottom".  I wouldn't say she loved it the first time but she would ride them throughout our stay.  Almost forgot the water in the house and the 1,000 gallon bucket drop is not 84 degrees...much colder or like I thought before we went 84 degrees isn't warm enough for me.  You either need an extra 10 pounds of fat or them to turn up the thermostat.

One of the pools at the water park has 6 basketball goals (see web link but with more than two people) and two acorn "lily pads" for playing "King of the Acorn" and a snake (not a real one) but one about 15 kids could climb and play "King of the Snake".  The adult (older than me, at least looked older than me) playing basketball next to us just signed a contract with the National Pool Basketball League (NPBL).  Easy big guy we are all on vacation.  It was the warmest pool on the property in the late afternoon and evening - must have been 84 degrees the rest of the time.

The also have a wave pool.  When you see an perfectly good pool empty, what's your first thought?  Caddyshack...It's a Baby Ruth or is it? (pretty sure this is going to be pretty high on the upcoming movie ranking from "I'm Just Sayin") Tim and I were pretty close to being right - evidently somebody threw up in the pool.  They evidently have two wave settings - gentle and knock you arse on the ground and the settings must be random.  This pool was also chilly at times - 84 degrees.  My suggestion find a light and back up against it or find a water jet and feel the warm water coming out.

The kiddie area has four jet skis with water cannons to piss the adults off because the kids are spraying the adults (if an adult ever needed to learn restraint - take them to a water park and let kids they don't know shoot them with water...I give them about 2 minutes before they go bonkers on the kid), three slides (not near as good as Wanamaker or any other kiddie area at a water park that I have been to) - two of them are a stretch being called slides more like drag them down it.  Wyatt and Aubrey both liked this area.  We almost caused a situation in the kiddie area.  I was off being a big kid while LA and Arlette watched Aubrey and Wyatt.  Arlette asked LA what is your daughter doing?  LA looks up and Aubrey is bent over with her bathing suit pulled to the side going pee-pee.  She sometimes forgets she isn't at Pops pool where it is okay to pee-pee in the grass (so you don't flood the inside of the house with wet kids).  In her defense she wasn't directly in the water (on a platform above the water).  Trust me she wasn't the first or the last kid to pee in that pool.  Kids do the darnest things...opps.  At least our kids weren't responsible for the following situation:
So why is the kiddie area closed?  While watching Wyatt and Aubrey I noticed the lifeguard place her hand in the air and a supervisor and another lifeguard immediately show up.  The other life guard walks into the water and starts looking around.  She then goes and gets a glove and scoops up something off the bottom of the pool and inspects it with the supervisor. Is it baby baby ruth, a raisinet or pooh?  They determine it's pooh (come on people contain your kids poop...it's your responsibility)...RED  ALERT, RED ALERT, whistles blowing everyone out of the pool.  They shut the area down for further inspection.  I nominated the lifeguard with the glove for the employee of the month and a raise.

The whole lodge has a game called Magi Quest.  In a nut shell you purchase a wand (that's good at any other Magi Quest) and you buy time that's loaded on the wand and you go on adventures and quests using a map book, finding clues.  Here's Tim's review of Magi Quest - a mind numbing adventure with not much of a point (at least to an adult, because it seemed like his kids loved it...and LA and I asked them often about making sure they completed all the adventure and quests before we left and Tim made sure they shared every detail to LA and I).  I asked him if you killed or shot anything? Nope.  What's the point? Not real sure.  Do you win a prize when you complete an adventure or quest? Nope  What's up with the older kids (15 -19 year olds) playing?  They have not adjusted socially...their parents need to have a talk with them "you know this isn't real life...give me your wand...here's a ball go outside and play or in this case go ride the slides in the water park.  To prove his point while his kids were playing an older boy starts talking to his daughter - "I'm a 7th level Warlock...on a quest....blah, blah, blah"...the boy moves on but Tim was walking up to tell him "No actually you are on a quest to get your arse kicked".  The great part about this Magi Quest was that it was on four different floors and Tim and Arlette got to see the entire Lodge.              

So by walking into a water park, you assume you are going to get wet.  I like most people like to prepare myself to get wet especially when the water is 84 degrees.  If you go onto the tree house, you expect to get wet and kids are going to spray you as you navigate the stairs to the slides - it's the nature of the tree house and I accept it (might not like it too much...see above about unknown kids spraying you)  However, what I did not sign up for is while waiting in line for the slide is for Pugsley (who is standing right next to me, who I don't know) to start shooting water at me.  I looked at him and I quote said "really?!?! you are going to shoot me with water".  He stopped and 10 seconds later shoots me again which I replied and I quote "really?!?!you want to start this" and I then proceed to drench him with water that caused him to start crying and he went and got his mother who I proceeded to shoot with water which then lead me and Aubrey being escorted out of the park.  Not exactly what happened but only because he heeded my second warning or that is what would have happened.

84 degrees - That might be the indoor air temperature but not all the water in the park is 84 degrees.  It helps if you keep telling yourself that it's 84 degrees, it's 84 degrees.  Or tell yourself it's 34 outside, it's 34 outside.  They need to pump up the heat a few degrees for my liking - a tropical 88 would be nice.

Stairs - This applies to any waterpark.  Get rid of the stairs and install escalators or anything that keeps me from having to climb stairs.  It's the 21st century, we can invent something a better option.

Cabanas - We got one because that's how Tim and I role.  But actually after spending Sunday in the Cabana, even the ladies would highly recommend renting a Cabana (specifically Cabana #5) on your departure day, especially if you are doing the one night trip like we did or have multiple families or a larger group.  It gives you an area to hang out, eat lunch, don't have to fight for chairs or tables or stand in any lines for food or drinks, not be in the mass of other people and be a big deal for the day and have a butler take care of you (and you get up to 20 drinks free which is a $50 value which makes the cabana even cheaper and easier to justify).  

Howling Tornado - Is a clover leaf tube ride for 2 to 4 people (basically four tubes you sit in with a mat in the middle for your feet).  The entry into your tube is the tricky part for the adults.  Tim decided to try a new way to get in the tube by plopping down into the tube which promptly dumped him out in the pool of water in the loading area, almost sending him down the slide without the tube or us which would have been awesome but the worker grabbed his ankle as I was yelling "hey, lady there's a whale trying to go down the side...catch him".

Here's my review of most of the water park:
Fort Mackenzie - aka "Tree House" - plenty of places to get soaked and piss people off from the bucket drop and water hoses and water cannons everywhere.
Totem Towers - aka "slides in Fort Mackenzie" - no tubes here just your backside...good slide fast
Whooping Hollow - in Kiddie Park area - good for the younger set but pretty tame
Howling Tornado - two to four person tube slide - Awesome slide with a sixty foot drop into a larger tube area where you ride 30 feet up the walls.  Best ride in the park
River Canyon Run - two to four person tube slide - normal tube slide but bigger tube and with up to four people. Pretty tame (only rode this slide once...not worth the wait)
Alberta Falls - one or two person tube slide - Awesome single person tube slide, fast...pretty fun with two people also but without the ability to spin backwards like you can in a single tube.
Mountain Edge Raceway - single mat slide, up to four at a time - it is a speed race with you and your friends...fun, weight seems to play a factor since I was 1 -2 verse Tim.
Slap Tail Pond - aka wave pool - watch out for the wipeout level otherwise a good place to spend some time relaxing from climbing stairs
Chinook Activity Pool - aka basketball pool - watch out for the older kids and remember pool basketball is a contact sport...enough other area to be in the pool and out of danger.  Wyatt and Aubrey loved jumping off the side into the pool.
Cub Paw Pool - aka kiddie area - good for the kids but the slide needs to be kicked up a notch (like Wanamaker kiddies slide)

Improvements I Would Make

  • Add additional slides - I think two more would make a hugh difference at this park reducing the lines (the lines were not terrible but any line is no fun because it is reducing your RPD (Rides Per Day))
  • Option of riding Howlin Tornado without a tube
  • Option of riding Howlin Tornado with multiple tubes - first tube out wins and you are penalized if anyone falls off your tube
  • Waterpark stays open until 11pm
Don't Forget

  • Your camera and video recorder (We forgot both at home and I was looking forward to taking some action videos with our waterproof video recorder).
  • Flip Flops / Crocs  (How does the flip flop King forget his flip flops?)


Overall review of Great Wolf Lodge
Great Wolf Lodge gets the coveted  Our Life Highly Recommended rating.  The rooms were nice and there are plenty of activities for the kids - water park (9am to 9pm - closing time changes based on season), arcade, Magi Quest, story time, magic shows, dance party...etc.  The food at the hotel is okay.  The biggest advantage is that it is convenient and kids eat free (still cost two adults $50 for a buffet dinner with drinks and tip).  The water park is typical of any amusement park - arrive early (at opening) and stay late (or leave and come back) so you can ride the slides without standing in a line for 45-60 minutes for less than a minute of thrill.  You can ride more in the hour after opening and the hour before closing than you can the other times of the day because of the lines (I am about maximizing your RPD).  For it being a holiday weekend it was crowded but not insanely crowded.  You can do the 36 hour trip like we did (leave at 11am Sat and get home 11pm on Sun) and have a blast (a little tired the next day).  If you wanted to splurge and stay two nights you could skip staying real late on the last day.  You need to book early.  It is a pay in advance resort (when you book your stay, you pay which is nice because it felt like we were staying for free) and as the number of rooms decrease the price increases.  LA and I had tried to go last year and never committed to going until the prices of the rooms were way too high.  For something fun to do in the winter that you should be doing in the summer, you can't beat it.  Tell them your heard it hear on Our Life.