Disclaimer

The stories contained here may or may not be actual stories from our lives. They very well may be fictional accounts. I have a creative mind. They could be fictional parenting examples to help you, life stories, or true stories to help the readers of this blog. I can't confirm or deny the accuracy contained in each post. Take the information contained here and laugh a little, shake your head a little and ask yourself if he is serious. I will deny that any of these accounts were actually from our lives.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Caddyshack Turns 30

Caddyshack is celebrating it's 30th Anniversary which only means that I am old because I saw it in the theater at 13 years old. I am not sure which of our friends parents took us but I am sure we tricked them somehow. I am pretty sure it wasn't PG and they didn't have PG 13 when I was growing up - just G, PG, R and XXX.

If you want the scoop on Caddyshack and all the details of the movie check it out here - Wie Under Par.

Here is a clip from the movie...classic!

Technology

I was wondering the other day if all this technology is helping us or hurting us and at what cost? What are we missing out on because of it...

I have read a couple of articles about the written word and books being on the decline and the problems with kids creating a new "texting language" and them not knowing how to spell, write or read. I hope someone else see this as a problem. Then you have the Apple's and Microsoft's and any other tablet manufacturer trying to convince us that you could stop all the printing press today and use their readers and save the environment (because you wouldn't be cutting trees down and that's another story). Except for the daily local newspaper (and the Wednesday free edition of the Summerville Journal Scene), a couple of magazines, the Bible and an occasional book, it wouldn't cause me too much pain. But even as a causal reader, I do think it would be tragic if no more books were printed because there is something about have to turn to page 6C to get the rest of the story, something about turning the page, something about using a bookmark, marking a page where you stopped reading, or rereading a couple of pages or chapters because you don't know where you stopped reading before falling asleep (while all the time thinking this all sounds familiar). Aubrey loves to read books and loves turning the pages. I don't think hitting a button or sliding your finger across the screen would be the same to her...even if she occasionally tears a page.

What about the weather channel and every local news station between here and California having some kind of the latest and greatest radar and forecasting software that can tell you what street and whose house it is raining on. However, if we kept track of when they are right vs total forecasts given they would be below the Mendosa line - .215. I always thought that would be a good job because if you get it wrong people will still turn in tomorrow to watch. Regardless of their accuracy, today, we as a society plan our lives around their forecasts and even don't do something because there is a chance of rain or a thunderstorm. I had someone that I know recently start a 2 hour trip to visit their parents and were about an hour into the trip when their parents called and told them that there were severe thunderstorms warnings they rest of the way and they should return home. Like any good child they turned around and returned home. I guess you can look at it two ways - they potentially avoided bad weather and maybe an accident or they missed out on spending time with family. I probably wouldn't have been the obedient child in that situation and would have kept on going thinking it's not raining now or it's not going to be that bad. I am not advocating making stupid decisions that will get you on page 4B of the Charleston paper like playing golf in a lightning storm (but if I had a round going like the Priest in Caddyshack, I probably would have tried to finish) but I have a problem when I see people not doing something because it might rain or there might be bad weather ahead, guess what it might not rain. I have played a lot of golf when it looked like it was going to rain or the forecast was for rain or the weather channel radar showed it raining where we were playing - maybe that because it never rains on the golf course (that's what my mother would always say). You could also get caught at the bottom of a waterfall in a thunderstorm with no umbrella or rain coats because you wondered if the people with the rain coats in the parking lot knew something you didn't..they did but they missed out on an adventure of sitting under a canopy of trees huddled together trying to stay dry, wondering when we should attempt to leave, thinking a couple of times on the way back that you had just been struck by lightning. They don't have a story to share on their blog - how boring would it be if it was we had our raincoats and we got caught in a rainstorm...you dare devils oh, to live a day in your shoes).

Part of life is about the adventures and the stories that come from it. I just don't want technology to prevent the adventures and stories from happening and from being able to read about it in the newspaper. My theory is technology in moderation...

Quick Update On What's Been Happening

Just a quick update on a couple of things...

It is HOT not hot but damn HOT and you can't even avoid it by getting up early. I got up at 6:30 Saturday to finish some yard work and it was already HOT. All I needed was some soap and I could have showered outside. I will officially go on record and join the chorus of everyone else by saying "In all my years, I don't remember it being this hot." It also reminds me of Adrian Cronauer in Good Morning Vietnam.

Wyatt started rolling over (back to stomach) about two weeks ago and now isn't much interested in staying on his back but he isn't real happy about being on his stomach except for sleeping. He loves to sleep on his stomach. I know this is breaking about every parenting rule but unless we tie him down to the bed he isn't going to sleep on his back. Over the weekend he rolled from his stomach to his back, so he is starting to figure things out.

Wyatt has started eating foods. We started with the rice cereal and are moving to veggies this week. He is starting to get the hang of eating and taking in more than runs down his bib. He is growing up so fast.

Aubrey is now fearless of the water. We started the summer just using swimmies or water wings and she wasn't quite ready for them. They required mommy and daddy to hold her to keep her from sinking. It was a struggle to keep her mouth out of the water. She was drinking all the pool water and to be honest, I am pretty sure that's what she wanted to do anyway. We recently purchased a puddle jumper life jacket after trying Caroline 2's out. It worked out much better and after a couple of sessions of getting used to it, she is wide open now. Last week during Nanny camp, she went to the lake and wore LA out in the water and she wore LA out at the water park at Wanamaker and ran around and up and down the slides so much that she had blisters on her toes. The official confirmation of her not being scared of the water came on Sunday when she was jumping off the side of the pool into the deep end and trying to dive with her cousins. Now all she will say is "I want to go to lake/water park/Pops pool".

Summer is coming to a close. It is hard to imagine but LA's only got two weeks until she starts back at school. That is going to be a hard transition for everyone, 5:00 is going to come early for mommy and daddy and 6:00 is going to be early for Aubrey and Wyatt.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

We are still blogging...at least for a little while longer until they find out about us

Don't worry, this blog has not been shut down by the government (at least not yet). I guess Big Brother is always watching even though I checked my followers and I don't see them listed - very sneaky (However, "I do not underestimate their sneakiness"). We will continue posting our helpful antidotes to everyone so they can improve their parenting skills and continue to learn from others mistakes about life, love and everything else.

Not sure if any of my fellow blogging counterparts have been shut down. It has been awful quite over at Courtyard and I'm Just Saying for the past week or so since the crackdown. They were always on the edge with their post but right on target. Hopefully, their fingers haven't been chopped off and made to go silent. If they have and been forced to go underground, you can check back here for updates about where they are blogging now and I will even try to arrange a few events for you to come out and meet these blogging pioneers. Stay tuned for updates

Onward and Upward!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

We are RETIRING! - Update 3:41pm 07.15.10

We leaked some good news out on Tuesday to a good friend, DW. The honor of his word not to tell anyone has been proven since after 36 hours no one has been told. This act of faithfulness will be remembered and rewarded.

We have tried to keep this to ourselves but we can't and have decided to inform everyone of the news because we want everyone to share in our excitement.

We have retired. I am finishing out the month at Carter Electronics Service Co., Inc and turning in my keys and LA is informing ARHS that she will not be returning. After opening countless pieces of mail and tearing up countless pieces of mail, we opened an envelope on Monday that set the course for our future. I know you are thinking we won the lottery or Publishing Clearing House or an internet email scam actually paid out the millions promised but it is nothing of the such. We received this check from GAP.


It was enough to put our retirement accounts over the top and put us on easy street for the remainder of our lives. (DW for your faithfulness I have a small gift for you.) I am hopeful to maybe get a part time job over at a certain to be unnamed locally owned lumber company in town. Don't worry about me being over qualified or worried about a hostile takeover with my retirement windfall. Trust me, once you've moved into 301 Easy Street you aren't looking to move and I am not looking for any added responsibility, just show me where the 2x4's are.

Okay, so we weren't really lucky enough to retire today. If I carefully invest the $.86 and work for 22 more years maybe I might be lucky enough to retire. I personally think it is a little ridiculous for GAP to send out a check for less than $10.00. When you take in the cost of the check, stamp and the labor (computer operator, printer...etc) is is really worth it. A better idea would have been to send an email and ask if I and all the other people with inactive accounts with credit balances would agree to donate the money to charity and write one large check to the charity - like cancer research. I would have done that without thinking. It's just a thought.

So what are we going to do with the $.86, I am taking the check to the bank and cashing it and putting it equally in Aubrey and Wyatt's piggy banks.

PS - As an update to this breaking story. I have decided against the piggy banks and we are going to bury it in two mason jars somewhere in town and leave a map hidden in the house for the next owner or someone a couple of generations later to find. They will be able to go on a treasure hunt. That will be exciting for them...might be a little disappointed with the treasure but the thrill of spending time finding it will create memories and we all know those are priceless.

I took the check to the bank and deposited it in the ATM which now scans all your checks and does the math to figure out your total deposit, if you have multiple checks. The ATM scanned the check and brought the check up to confirm the deposit amount because it couldn't figure out how much the check was for - translated - the ATM wasn't programmed to recognize a check for less than a dollar. The ATM basically told me "Really...$.86" and I told it - "Yep, $.86 believe it".

Friday, July 9, 2010

Headlines - Just In Case You Missed It, I Couldn't

Just in case you turn here for you sporting news first or you just returned to the US by walking and taking steamships from Kathmandu and haven't heard - Lebron James ditched his hometown (I will call Cleveland "Heartbreak City" going forward. They have had their share of sports Heartbreaks - I used to love the Browns when the had Kosar, Bynar and Newsome but couldn't get over that final hurdle because of an untimely turnover or their arch nemesis John Elway breaking their hearts) and is headed to South Beach with D Wade and C Bosh to attempt to justify his "King" title by winning a title with their help. Just as an FYI to Lebron, pretty sure the rest of the NBA isn't going to lay down so they can win a title. Good Luck...hope it works out. If nothing else works out, the weather is much better than in Cleveland and your only a hop, skip and a jump from Key West where you can drink your troubles away and fall off the radar.

PS - I will also give Lebron credit for not picking the team that could have paid him the most money. He's taking a pay cut but it isn't like he is going to starve.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Wyatt's 4 Month Check Up

Wyatt had his 4 month checkup on Tuesday. Everything was fine with Wyatt except for his lack of weight gain but the doctor is not concerned since he is taking in enough fluids and he is now starting with food - rice cereal and then on to the fruits, then veggies, and maybe some meats.

Here's the tale of the tape for Wyatt:

Length: 25 3/4 in - 80th Percentile (+1.5in from 2 month appointment)
Weight: 13lbs 6oz - 25th Percentile (+1lb 2oz from 2 month appointment)
Head: 16.5 in - 50th Percentile (+.5in from 2 month appointment)

Aubrey's stats at 2 months:

Length: 25 ¾ in - 95th Percentile
Weight: 14lbs 11oz – 75th Percentile
Head: 15in – 20th Percentile

It is amazing how long Wyatt seems to be but he is the same length as Aubrey was at 4 months. The difference is the extra 1lb 5oz the Aubrey was carrying. It made Aubrey look like a linebacker that never missed a meal and Wyatt looks like a bean pole. We give Wyatt some protein shakes and starting morning and evening workouts to add some weight and help him with his head control and arm strength. Wyatt is close to rolling over but can't get his arm from underneath him. Hopefully, it won't be much longer.

What I'll Be Doing At 9:00pm, tonight?

Just in case you were wondering what I will be doing tonight at 9:00pm while the rest of the free world and probably including the not free world (pretty sure China has called a holiday to hear the news and is showing the news conference on the one state TV channel) is watching, holding their breathe to hear who gets to pay Lebron James something between 90 and 120 million dollars to play basketball and give him his new jersey with his new number (6), I will be on the sofa with my wife and Wyatt watching HGTV or Food Network or any other channel than ESPN.

My disdain for professional sports began with Alex Rodriguez and him signing with the Texas Rangers for the GDP of Tonga (252 Million over 10 years) in 2000. He would later sign for 275 million over 10 years in 2007 with the New York freaking Yankees who evidently have a printing press in the stadium or is it the $8 beers and $12 hot dogs. When the contract was signed, I stopped watching/caring about professional baseball and since MJ had retired from basketball, I included the NBA in my ban. The NFL received a partial reprieve from banishment. It's football, enough said. I don't agree with the pay schedule in any of the leagues but I am not an owner and probably never will be unless something freakish happens - like me finding an oil reserve beneath my house (which the government probably wouldn't let me drill) or a large gold deposit or a diamond mine so I don't have the right to comment of how much they pay. I can comment when the players of these leagues go on strike - don't like your pay save your millions and buy the team then you can do whatever you want which at that point I am sure you will become cheap and rebuff your now employees demands for better pay because you want a return on your investment in the team. Funny how things change when you sit on the other side of the desk.

So back to the Lebron James media circus that has been created by his handlers which by the way are some high school buddies that he has entrusted with his career(which I personally like because I always thought agents were scum but if this thing doesn't work out will they still be friends?) and ESPN (which explains why this "news worthy" story is on ESPN tonight). They (ESPN) created "King" (see my post on 43, for my thoughts about the REAL King) James and have used every opportunity to promote him and his free agency for the past two years. The culmination of the summer of Lebron is coming to a close at 9:00pm tonight and if early reports are correct by 9:10 you will know. However, the constant dribble of why he chose Miami, Cleveland, New York, New Jersey of the other countless suitors of his services and the heartbreak of the teams he didn't choose will continue - tonight for at least 50 minutes after his announcement. Then when the season starts it will continue with the constant talk of him now winning a championship because of blah, blah, blah. I will give Lebron credit for having mad basketball skills but at 6'8" 260 pounds shouldn't he? However, he has yet to win anything but he is going to be the highest paid basketball player ever.

What about Kobe? I am not a Kobe fan but the proof is in the pudding. It would seem to me that if you were ranking players in the NBA by performance and value to team (without xxx player, your team would - finish last or win a championship or somewhere in between), Kobe should be the highest paid player in the league. He has won 5 NBA championships, League MVP, Finals MVP (2), 12 time All-Star, scored 81 points in a game against the high school team in Canada that is allowed to play in the NBA - Toronto Raptors (why do they try and make the Canadians like the sports we like...they like hockey, curling, skiing, hunting and snowmobiling - notice a common thread - cold weather sports and for some reason the CFL is modestly successful - the reason, see my earlier reason for still watching pro football - it's football, enough said - even if they play on a longer field and the players are reject from the NFL) and a list of records too long to put in this blog (proof, that he is worthy of his pay). He signed a three year deal worth $87 million earlier this year - not bad $29 million a year. If Lebron gets a penny more that Kobe, he should be in Jerry West's office with the headlines about Lebron's contract and tell Jerry to get his checkbook out.

Don't forget to set your DVR to show your children the night Lebron James announced where he was going to play basketball for the next 5 years (at least we will have 3 years of downtime(not fully but at least muted, where you can actually hear about other sports, unlike now when it is Lebron 24/7) before the Lebron circus hits the airwaves on ESPN again.

PS - I am not bashing ESPN (maybe a little). I understand that without a Lebron frenzy they don't get as big of a return on their investment in broadcasting the NBA. They paid big bucks and have to do everything they can to create interest and sell advertising. I am just not watching, tonight.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Aubrey's 21

No one ever warned me about Aubrey turning 21. She turned 21 on June 14 and she has been wild ever since - wanting to stay up late, sleeping in, going out, always saying "I want drink", not listening to her mother and father, going to dance clubs (at Medieval Times). There were even a couple of episodes of her attempting to "hit the sauce" before she turned 21 but we caught her. It wasn't like she tried to hide it. She just climbed up into my lap and tried to throw one back. I keep telling LA that it's just a phase and she will grow out of it. She's got to learn the hard way.

So it's 21 months not 21 years old. I hope she doesn't waste this golden opportunity and gets it out of her system. Why not let her celebrate while she had this once in a lifetime opportunity because in 74 days (she will be 2 and no more of this silly counting by months) she isn't going to have the opportunity again for 7,009 days but who's counting. I will be watching like a hawk.

Live it up, girl. Live it up!